Cliché
by Misaki Takahashi Akihiko
Summary: A series of drabbles of the Naruto world, all based on... Cliches! Many, many multiple parings.
1. Note

These will be drabbles about, you guessed it, clichés. Some may seem more like one shots in length, but they are all placed in the same reality. The clichés will more then likely have a different twist then the meaning.

But still fun all the same.

There will be many different pairing basses for each. The pairing will be placed on the top of each page.

If you don't like the pairing, skip it. There's others.

But they will be all yaoi based, with hetero pairings on the side if needed.

Disclaimer- I do not, will not, wish I did but don't own any of these pairings.

Warning- Language (at times) multiple pairings, sexual implications but no graphic anything. Sorry. No lemons, limes, or even grapes but the fair share of perverted jokes and thoughts.

This is basically for comedy and entertainment.

**I need a paring, and ONLY a pairing for drabble number one. So first come first serve.**


	2. Early bird gets the worm

**Well, since no one suggested a pairing, and I wanted to get this started, I've decided.**

**You'll Just have ta deal.**

**Read, Review, Enjoy.**

**I'll only say this once. Implies to any and all chapters for now on.**

**Warnings: Language, sexual innuendo, half ass attempt at humor, and cliché fluff.**

**Disclamer: Do not own. Yeah, no crap.**

**KakuHida**

"I don't fuckin see why I had to get up so Jashin dammed early, asswipe." The religious man of Akatsuki known as Hidan ranted in the early morning.

"And another thing, shitface…" While Hidan continued ranting to, what seemed to now be a wall, his partner (in more ways then one, XD) tuned him out. An acquired talent that takes years to perfect but comes in handing with a foul mouthed partner on your back about… anything he could put a curse to.

But the white haired man did have a point. Why were they up eight in the morning on their day off?

The answer?

Pocky.

Yes, pocky.

The third love of the bankers life. Under Hidan and his first love, money.

Why would a high ranked criminal love such a seemingly childish snack? Not only is it cheap, but comes in an assortment of flavors. But, nobody cares.

Except, of course, a pissed of partner that was awaken with the devil device made to produce an irritating series of noise until it wakes all the occupants of the room, and smash it into a wall for the third time this week.

'_I need to invest in a plastic alarm clock.' _Thought Kakuzu, already knowing he'll have to buy another one. For the third time. That week.

But again the question. Why was an alarm set to 7:45 a.m, on a Sunday morning?

One word.

Roommates.

Living in a 'house' (it is now), with some number of people that he's lost count of after members died or quite in their first week, all ranging from teenager's with hormones, anger, and hunger, to grown men with sex drives, anger, and hunger nothing is safe.

Nothing.

Including Kakuzu's morning pocky sitting innocently in the kitchen cabinet waiting to please him in so many taste bud involved ways.

Those men are like Piranha's. Come time for finding food, they would attack the first defenseless sugar coated treat they find. Some may even loose a finger or two. (coughZetsucough)

But to Kakuzu's quick wit and helpful planning, he's discovered a plan to claim his precious pocky first.

Wake up before the others.

"And what the fuck is the big deal about dip on a Jashin dammed stick? Fucking greedy, voodoo doll, selfish…"

Ignoring that, Kakuzu walked out of his and Hidans' room at 8:04 a.m. to claim his prize. Hidan decided to follow for lack of a better thing to do, and he could annoy his partner some more.

Walking through the hall, not turning on a light in fear his roommates will swarm like moths, he reached the kitchen with quick steps.

Stepping up to the cabinet , Kakuzu grabbed the handle, pulled the door open and looked inside to see his favorite-

"WHAT THE SHIT!"

The pocky.

It was gone.

A kind of empty space took place were it should have been.

"Where's my pocky!"

In search for his biscuit sticks in the hopes it was just moved aside to the back, Kakuzu searched the cabinet from top to bottom.

Piling everything on the counter, throwing boxes over his shoulder, there was still no pocky.

After his search ended in failure, and Hidan was off bothering somebody else that wasn't in an emo-like mode, a certain blonde walked in.

"What are you doing, Kakuzu, hm?" Deidara asked watching a dark cloud hover over Kakuzu's head thanks to ninjutsu. He came out to see what the noise was he could hear in his room.

Kakuzu's only answer was a hollow sigh.

Then he looked up to Deidara and looked back down.

Then looked back again quickly in a double take.

In-between Deidara's lips was a stick of strawberry pocky.

"Deidara, where did you find that pocky?"

There's no way he got there before him. It was 9:20 a.m. now, due to his endless search, Kakuzu hardly noticed the time pass.

"Hm?" Deidara asked.

"Did you get it from this cabinet this morning?" Kakuzu said, pointing to the now empty wooden cabinet.

"No, hm."

"Then how did you get it?" Kakuzu asked slowly.

Deidara took the pocky in-between his thumb and pointer finger and answered.

"Oh. I hid it under my pillow last night, hm."

And with that Deidara put the pocky back in his mouth, turned, and walked back to his room.

Kakuzu was left stunned.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Can't get earlier then the day before. XD


	3. An apple a day keeps the doctor away

SasuNaru

**SasuNaru**

"I don't wanna."

"Just do it."

"I don't wanna eat the god damn apple!" Naruto yelled at his boyfriend who insisted on him eating healthier food.

"Why not?" Sasuke asked back. He wanted to spend many, many more years with his rambunctious dobe and that means him eating healthier food.

"I don't wanna!" Naruto said back.

"Give me a reason and 'I don't wanna' isn't an actual reason." Sasuke said back to his 6 month boyfriend. But that was rather hard when his blonde refused to eat anything healthy. He hated eating that 'crap and greens' as he referred to it.

But he finally gave in (when Sasuke tied his two week old boyfriend to the bed post and threatened to burn Ichuraku's) and eat his first banana.

**Flachback**

"_Hey Sasuke."_

"_What?"_

"_Does this look like anything to you?" Naruto asked holding up the peeled banana._

_Sasuke just stared at him._

_Then Naruto gave a little baby fox kit like lick to the side, and Sasuke ran to the bathroom in record speed._

"… _Guess he doesn't like banana pops then."_

**End Flashback**

He's managed to make Naruto eat bananas, grapes, strawberries, and carrots, (they were orange, so not much of a problem.)

Sasuke was getting pretty pissed now. Not only have they been arguing about this for the past week, but for the last hour. "Just eat it so we don't have to fight about this anymore!"

"Fine! Then we won't fight about this anymore! GOOD BYE!" Naruto yelled then wrenched open the door to Sasuke's house, leaving his coat, wallet, and even his shoes behind, and slammed the door.

"Pfft, whatever." Sasuke walked out of the kitchen/ dinning room, up the stairs to his room. In ten minutes he'll comeback, eat the apple or just a piece, and they can have an apology make-out/ grope session, like always (No sex until your married kids XD). He'll comeback. He'll always come back.

Right?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It's been two hours and still no Naruto.

'_Where is he?' _Sasuke decided to look for him and left the house, grabbing Naruto's keys, searching every place on his mental checklist, starting with the buildings closest to his house.

Ichuraku's? Just two jounin and someone he didn't know.

Iruka's? Sasuke has never actually been to Iruka's before Naruto started to drag him there for a 'family' dinner. He knocked on the door once he reached the apartment. NO Naruto, just Iruka, and "KAKASHI! You late bastard. Now I know why!"

The next stop. Naruto's apartment.

Reaching the right floor Sasuke tried to open the door, but it was locked. He opened the door with Naruto's key that he left behind and walked in. No lights were on and it was quite. "Naruto? Are you here?" Maybe he was asleep. Sasuke walked the short distance to the bed, but nothing was there. What was that? There was a noise outside. Walking over to the window, Sasuke peered outside to see water splotch the glass. It started raining, fast and hard. The view was blurred in seconds.

'_Dammit.' _No body knew were Naruto was, but he did know one thing. He was outside. Without a jacket or shoes and it's nearly impossible to see anymore.

Sasuek ran to the closet, grabbed the first two jackets he touched, and ran through the door slamming it on his way.

On his way down the stairs Sasuke slipped on the, thankfully, black jacket while clutching the other orange one in his hand.

He ran to someplace that he was sure Naruto would be. The bridge team seven meets. Running the entire way Sasuke made it there in four minutes. He looked around for any sign of orange, but couldn't see anything.

Suddenly, a loud explosion of thunder sounded.

Then suddenly he saw a bright orange color behind a tree to his right.

He walked towards the tree.

He realized that the orange was Naruto's knee. His legs were pulled up against his chest, his head between his knees and shaking. _'Must be cold.' _With all the noise from the rain, Naruto didn't hear anyone come near him.

**CRACK**

Sasuke saw Naruto shake even harder, then he remembered _'He's afraid of thunder.' _(1)

Slowly Sasuke reached out and placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder who looked up immediately.

Forgetting that he was suppose to be mad he leaped into Sasuke's arms. Sasuke put the extra jacket he grabbed around Naruto and slowly standing them both up so they could go home.

The rain started to lighten up, to a heavy drizzle and the thunder stopped.

Finally reaching their home (Naruto practically moved in already), they went inside and Naruto sat at the kitchen table while Sasuke got some towels.

When he came back he sat across from Naruto and asked why he didn't come back.

"Because I sorta fell asleep, and the rain woke me up." Naruto answered, a bit embarrassed.

"Dobe." Smirk.

"Teme! Aaa- CHOO!"

They both looked at each other for a moment.

"Sasuukeeeee. I'm sick."

"You know, if you just eat that apple you wouldn't have run outside and gotten sick."

"Shuddup."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"It's twelve. Time for your medicine dobe."

"I don't wanna."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I'm SO sorry. The original version was SO much better but my computer closed it on me and I can't recover it. It was three paragraphs from complete too. And SO much better. When I lost it I was PISSED.

O/K who DIDN'T see that fluffy scene in the forest coming? That's what I'm here for.

(1) I've heard that around. Is it true?

If anyone has any ideas or requests for clichés, say so.


	4. Like talking to a brick wall

KisaIta

**KisaIta**

"We'll leave for our mission tomorrow." Itachi said. "Pack everything you'll need tonight. We leave at six."

…

"Kisame, are you even listening to me?"

…

Just then, the door to Itachi's and Kisame's bedroom opened.

"Um, Itachi? What are you doing?" Kisame asked when he walked in and saw his partner staring at the bedroom wall. "By the way, were you talking to some one in here?" He asked remembering hearing his partner's voice when he walked by.

"Kisame?"

"Yeah?"

"What was the name of that healer you were talking about yesterday?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

If you didn't get it, Itachi's blind. Again, a spoiler. Can't remember if I warned for those or not. Oh well, not like you haven't heard it already.


	5. Ants in His Pants

SasuNaru

**SasuNaru**

"OK, that's enough for today everyone. Go home." Kakashi stated staring intently at his precious orange book before poofing way, leaving Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke laying in the grass near dead after training.

"Kakashi that bastard. It hurts to m-o-o-o-ve." Naruto whined, laying sprawled on the ground near a tree, hardly finding enough energy to keep his eyes open.

Sasuke grunted in agreement, sitting a few feet away with his knees up resting his elbows on them.

Sakura, sitting against a tree facing the two, took this opportunity to make a move. "Sasuke, do you want to go get something eat with me? Maybe a drink. It's _so _hot today after all." She said while trying to fan herself off 'seductively' with some feminine charm thrown in.

"No, I don't." Came the monotone voice shooting down yet another 'date' offer.

Looking crestfallen Sakura tried a different approach. "Oh, well would you like me to walk home with you maybe, you don't have to come with me home either if it's too far off." She fluttered her eyes a bit, hoping to maybe cause a wind effect to drift some pheromone his way.

"I'm going to stay here a little longer." Was the only response for her troubles.

"I'll walk home with you Sakura." Naruto's bright voice chimed in.

Sakura just scoffed, and gave him a disgusted look. "No way. I'd rather go alone." And being a girl of her word, she got up and left the two.

"Well, that got rid of her, ne Sasuke?" Naruto stated looking over at his raven like friend.

After the years of being shot down painfully by the strawberry konoichi, his interest diminished into nothing but mere friendship. After all, Sakura can have her friendly moments. Now, Naruto uses his old crush just to get rid of her when she's pestering his best friend or just too annoying to deal with at the moment. (1)

"Yeah." Sasuke replied, grateful as well.

The two lapsed into a comfortable silence for a bit. Sasuke looking into the mid-late day sky, a brilliant blue as Naruto took on a sleeping persona, enjoying the peace.

The years have made both boys very handsome and down right sexy. Sasuke became more masculine as Naruto took on a more slim feminine build, but still manly. He lost his baby fat that was mainly around his face turning him from a cute chibi looking kit to a drop dead sexy fox.

Sasuke aged in a manly way, his bangs growing out a bit, and converted to wearing dark pants as too his childhood white shorts with a long sleeved blue shirt that was also light for the summer heat and still holds the Uchiha clan symbol on the back.

Suddenly, a slight smirk crosses Sasuke's face. Very slight, but evil nonetheless.

As quite as his ninja instincts would let him, he silently crawled towards his foxy blonde friend. Being a foot away, he laid down besides his friend.

Then, he rolled over on top of Naruto and seemed adamant about staying there.

"Hmm?" Naruto opened his eyes and looked into dark ones. Then those eyes got closer and soft lips touched his. Both eyes closed simultaneously.

Naruto Uzamaki, future Hokage and Sasuke Uchiha, future AMBU captain and next hokage's personal body guard, have been dating for almost a year. However, the only other one who know besides them was Iruka. Of course Naruto told him, he was like the boy's father and was getting worried that his little fox kittling wasn't going to find a girlfriend in his dating years. What a surprise when he found out that Naruto WAS the girlfriend.

Sasuke was ready to shout it from the roof tops the second they got together, but it was Naruto that was too shy about people knowing. They agreed to tell everyone on their first anniversary, which will be next month. Sasuke can never help but gain an evil look in his eyes at Sakura's impending expression of utter horror and surprise, _but if that tart touches my Naru-chan I'll rip her fucking eyes out.'_ (Calm kitty. )

As they kissed, Naruto started squirming abit underneath Sasuke, simultaneously rubbing their hips together.

Even after being together for nearly a year, neither actually got farther then making out or an above the belt groping session so this brought on a surprise in Sasuke and little Sasuke.

The fidgeting got a bit rougher and faster and Sasuke got the idea that Naruto was ready for the next step and started to gain a fond smile for his blonde boyfriend. But was out of his mind surprised when Naruto suddenly pushed him off and jumped up.

Regaining form shock, Sasuke looked up to see Naruto jumping in place and shaking out his jacket and pants legs.

Not even fathoming what his precious boyfriend was doing, Sasuek asked, "What in the name of rice balls are you doing?" _'Can he not handle the sexual bliss?' _(3) _'I'll gladly help with that.'_

"NEEAHH! There's ant's crawling up my butt! There in my pants! Gettem out, gettem out, GETTEM OUT!"

'_I'll wish I were in your pants.' "_OK, hold still." Sasuke stood up and turned Naruto around and started whipping off the ants that were mostly on the outside of his pants. Naruto was a little uncomfortable holding himself up with his hands on his knees so he leaned over and put his hands on a tree trunk. Sasuke started smacking the ants away.

Iruka was out looking for Naruto to take him out to ramen (no duh, what else do they do) and Kakashi told him they were done training and might still be in the field when he passed him.

What Iruka walked in on nearly made his eyes bleed from the innocence his mentality held for his little boy. (Naruto)

Naruto was leaning against a tree while Sasuke was smacking his ass.

When they both noticed something they looked up and right into the eyes of a chocolate haired teacher.

Silence.

Then Iruka promptly turned away and muttered about perverted Uchiha's ruining the chaste sanctum of the innocent, cursing his son's poor choice in men who are actually secret perverts underneath. Along with the mumbles of where to find that number to a Christian convent.

Naruto and Sasuke watched the retreating chunnin in silence. Then Naruto went pale as Sasuke burst out laughing.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

(1) Thank GOD. Too bad that didn't happen. -sigh- but one can dream. After all, that's what fictions all about! XD

(2) I don't really wanna change them TOO much from the shippuden look, but I did have to change Sasuke's outfit, and he looks good in long sleeves no? Plus a fifteen year old boy shouldn't being wearing shorts too much anymore.

(3) Yeah, THAT'S it you perv.

Now who didn't see someone walking into something here? A secret gay romance between Sasuke and Naruto, Sakura flirting, and a misunderstanding.

I think I've covered all the clichéness for today.

My job is done.

Although Sakura walking in might have been more expected. XD

If anyone has any ideas or requests for clichés, say so. SAY IT! I can't think of _everything_.


End file.
